"I," said he of the Grove, "shall be satisfied with a canonry for myservices, and my master has already assigned me one."
"Your master," said Sancho, "no doubt is a knight in the Churchline, and can bestow rewards of that sort on his good squire; but mineis only a layman; though I remember some clever, but, to my mind,designing people, strove to persuade him to try and become anarchbishop. He, however, would not be anything but an emperor; but Iwas trembling all the time lest he should take a fancy to go intothe Church, not finding myself fit to hold office in it; for I maytell you, though I seem a man, I am no better than a beast for theChurch."
"Well, then, you are wrong there," said he of the Grove; "forthose island governments are not all satisfactory; some are awkward,some are poor, some are dull, and, in short, the highest andchoicest brings with it a heavy burden of cares and troubles which theunhappy wight to whose lot it has fallen bears upon his shoulders. Farbetter would it be for us who have adopted this accursed service to goback to our own houses, and there employ ourselves in pleasanteroccupations -in hunting or fishing, for instance; for what squire inthe world is there so poor as not to have a hack and a couple ofgreyhounds and a fishingrod to amuse himself with in his own village?"
"I am not in want of any of those things," said Sancho; "to besure I have no hack, but I have an ass that is worth my master's horsetwice over; God send me a bad Easter, and that the next one I am tosee, if I would swap, even if I got four bushels of barley to boot.You will laugh at the value I put on my Dapple- for dapple is thecolour of my beast. As to greyhounds, I can't want for them, for thereare enough and to spare in my town; and, moreover, there is morepleasure in sport when it is at other people's expense."
"In truth and earnest, sir squire," said he of the Grove, "I havemade up my mind and determined to have done with these drunkenvagaries of these knights, and go back to my village, and bring upmy children; for I have three, like three Oriental pearls."
"I have two," said Sancho, "that might be presented before thePope himself, especially a girl whom I am breeding up for acountess, please God, though in spite of her mother."
"And how old is this lady that is being bred up for a countess?"asked he of the Grove.
"Fifteen, a couple of years more or less," answered Sancho; "but sheis as tall as a lance, and as fresh as an April morning, and as strongas a porter."
"Those are gifts to fit her to be not only a countess but a nymph ofthe greenwood," said he of the Grove; "whoreson strumpet! what piththe rogue must have!"
To which Sancho made answer, somewhat sulkily, "She's no strumpet,nor was her mother, nor will either of them be, please God, while Ilive; speak more civilly; for one bred up among knights-errant, whoare courtesy itself, your words don't seem to me to be very becoming."
"O how little you know about compliments, sir squire," returned heof the Grove. "What! don't you know that when a horseman delivers agood lance thrust at the bull in the plaza, or when anyone doesanything very well, the people are wont to say, 'Ha, whoreson rip! howwell he has done it!' and that what seems to be abuse in theexpression is high praise? Disown sons and daughters, senor, who don'tdo what deserves that compliments of this sort should be paid to theirparents."
"I do disown them," replied Sancho, "and in this way, and by thesame reasoning, you might call me and my children and my wife allthe strumpets in the world, for all they do and say is of a kindthat in the highest degree deserves the same praise; and to see themagain I pray God to deliver me from mortal sin, or, what comes tothe same thing, to deliver me from this perilous calling of squireinto which I have fallen a second time, decayed and beguiled by apurse with a hundred ducats that I found one day in the heart of theSierra Morena; and the devil is always putting a bag full of doubloonsbefore my eyes, here, there, everywhere, until I fancy at every stop Iam putting my hand on it, and hugging it, and carrying it home withme, and making investments, and getting interest, and living like aprince; and so long as I think of this I make light of all thehardships I endure with this simpleton of a master of mine, who, Iwell know, is more of a madman than a knight."
"There's why they say that 'covetousness bursts the bag,'" said heof the Grove; "but if you come to talk of that sort, there is not agreater one in the world than my master, for he is one of those ofwhom they say, 'the cares of others kill the ass;' for, in orderthat another knight may recover the senses he has lost, he makes amadman of himself and goes looking for what, when found, may, forall I know, fly in his own face.""And is he in love perchance?" asked Sancho.
"He is," said of the Grove, "with one Casildea de Vandalia, therawest and best roasted lady the whole world could produce; but thatrawness is not the only foot he limps on, for he has greater schemesrumbling in his bowels, as will be seen before many hours are over."
"There's no road so smooth but it has some hole or hindrance in it,"said Sancho; "in other houses they cook beans, but in mine it's by thepotful; madness will have more followers and hangers-on than soundsense; but if there be any truth in the common saying, that to havecompanions in trouble gives some relief, I may take consolation fromyou, inasmuch as you serve a master as crazy as my own."
"Crazy but valiant," replied he of the Grove, "and more roguish thancrazy or valiant."
"Mine is not that," said Sancho; "I mean he has nothing of the roguein him; on the contrary, he has the soul of a pitcher; he has nothought of doing harm to anyone, only good to all, nor has he anymalice whatever in him; a child might persuade him that it is night atnoonday; and for this simplicity I love him as the core of my heart,and I can't bring myself to leave him, let him do ever such foolishthings."
"For all that, brother and senor," said he of the Grove, "if theblind lead the blind, both are in danger of falling into the pit. Itis better for us to beat a quiet retreat and get back to our ownquarters; for those who seek adventures don't always find good ones."
Sancho kept spitting from time to time, and his spittle seemedsomewhat ropy and dry, observing which the compassionate squire of theGrove said, "It seems to me that with all this talk of ours ourtongues are sticking to the roofs of our mouths; but I have a prettygood loosener hanging from the saddle-bow of my horse," and getting uphe came back the next minute with a large bota of wine and a pastyhalf a yard across; and this is no exaggeration, for it was made ofa house rabbit so big that Sancho, as he handled it, took it to bemade of a goat, not to say a kid, and looking at it he said, "And doyou carry this with you, senor?"
"Why, what are you thinking about?" said the other; "do you takeme for some paltry squire? I carry a better larder on my horse's croupthan a general takes with him when he goes on a march."
Sancho ate without requiring to be pressed, and in the dark boltedmouthfuls like the knots on a tether, and said he, "You are a propertrusty squire, one of the right sort, sumptuous and grand, as thisbanquet shows, which, if it has not come here by magic art, at anyrate has the look of it; not like me, unlucky beggar, that havenothing more in my alforjas than a scrap of cheese, so hard that onemight brain a giant with it, and, to keep it company, a few dozencarobs and as many more filberts and walnuts; thanks to theausterity of my master, and the idea he has and the rule he follows,that knights-errant must not live or sustain themselves on anythingexcept dried fruits and the herbs of the field."
"By my faith, brother," said he of the Grove, "my stomach is notmade for thistles, or wild pears, or roots of the woods; let ourmasters do as they like, with their chivalry notions and laws, and eatwhat those enjoin; I carry my prog-basket and this bota hanging to thesaddle-bow, whatever they may say; and it is such an object of worshipwith me, and I love it so, that there is hardly a moment but I amkissing and embracing it over and over again;" and so saying he thrustit into Sancho's hands, who raising it aloft pointed to his mouth,gazed at the stars for a quarter of an hour; and when he had donedrinking let his head fall on one side, and giving a deep sigh,exclaimed, "Ah, whoreson rogue, how catholic it is!"
"There, you see," said he of the Grove, hearing Sancho'sexclamation, "how you have called this wine whoreson by way ofpraise."
"Well," said Sancho, "I own it, and I grant it is no dishonour tocall anyone whoreson when it is to be understood as praise. But tellme, senor, by what you love best, is this Ciudad Real wine?"
"O rare wine-taster!" said he of the Grove; "nowhere else indeeddoes it come from, and it has some years' age too."
"Leave me alone for that," said Sancho; "never fear but I'll hitupon the place it came from somehow. What would you say, sir squire,to my having such a great natural instinct in judging wines that youhave only to let me smell one and I can tell positively its country,its kind, its flavour and soundness, the changes it will undergo,and everything that appertains to a wine? But it is no wonder, for Ihave had in my family, on my father's side, the two bestwine-tasters that have been known in La Mancha for many a long year,and to prove it I'll tell you now a thing that happened them. Theygave the two of them some wine out of a cask, to try, asking theiropinion as to the condition, quality, goodness or badness of the wine.One of them tried it with the tip of his tongue, the other did no morethan bring it to his nose. The first said the wine had a flavour ofiron, the second said it had a stronger flavour of cordovan. The ownersaid the cask was clean, and that nothing had been added to the winefrom which it could have got a flavour of either iron or leather.Nevertheless, these two great wine-tasters held to what they had said.Time went by, the wine was sold, and when they came to clean out thecask, they found in it a small key hanging to a thong of cordovan; seenow if one who comes of the same stock has not a right to give hisopinion in such like cases."
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